Came across this last week on Dead Things on Sticks, a great blog by a Canadian TV writer.
They received it as a sort of actor’s resume, from Billy MacLellan. It’s pretty awesome as resumes go:
I am avail for work on The Border if you have a character that needs to…
-run with a loaded crossbow
-cock a shotgun with one hand
-uppercut a punk-ass onto a banquet table or into a large bowl of punch
-rollerblade chase through the streets of San Fran
-hang offa that part of a helicopter, ya know, that part. (not the propeller)
-Oh! Rescue a girl from train tracks. (No one does that anymore)
-Put quarters on my bent elbow and then catch them with the same hand. ( I think that I saw the Fonz do that one)
-Wrangle a wild stagecoach.
-Headbutt a Scottish guy. (or girl)
-Sing to a kid that is stuck in a drain. (H2O, not sewer)
-Cut the blue wire. (Hold on…)
-Cut the RED wire.
-Get kids outta a trapped bus, submerged in a pool.
-Jump offa a building because the alien in me is too powerful.
-Swim under water that is on fire.
-Ride on the top of an elevator.
-Hurdle over a German soldier to take out the tower with the live grenade around my neck.
-Oh. And I once played Tommy Djelias in The Music Man.
Heh. It was posted here, if you’d like to see the source.
I wonder if we can go back and add in a girl tied to the train tracks in the Western Horror script…Never even considered that one!